Achievement: how to separate yourself from your

Last updated on June 28, 2016

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I have a problem I’ve been struggling with for years:

In fact, my “value” as a person is connected to what I do. What I did. How many times do I win …

“You are as good as your last concert, and your last concert sucked.”

I don’t know about the existing term for this question, so I came up with my own:

There’s nothing wrong with being motivated and driven. It is perfectly normal to want to do a lot of amazing things-usually it is an advantage. But this ambition becomes a problem when we cannot separate from what we do. When we contact external achievements, we will always be unhappy …

In today’s post, I’m going to explore the root of this problem, and what you can do to get out of the success cycle …

If you are dependent on achievements (or feel threatened to become one of them), this post is for you. And don’t worry: the path to recovery is much less than twelve steps. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Before we can be dependent on achievements, we must first understand what is causing it. The specific reasons depend on the person, but I have identified several, which I think are applicable to most people, including:.

As far as each area contributes to this problem, it changes, but I suspect that they all play a role. In my life, I’ve been watching all three things …

Let’ s look at each one in turn …

School: culture of evaluation.

The pursuit of achievements begins as a child. Since the first year of training, we have been dealing with results, producing “results”. Theoretically, it’s positive. Children in particular need specific, immediate motivation, as they are unlikely to have a built-in motivation first …

Thus, most schools place greater emphasis on estimates in the numerical ranking of children by intellectual ability. This is also due to the attempt of schools to quantify the performance of teachers and students, as objective indicators look good on paper and are much easier to show as an excuse for increasing or reducing the funding of a particular school.

Many schools try to resist this mindset, learning about the importance of self-esteem and self-esteem, but.

These estimates are most likely to be tied to a very narrow measure of intelligence (mathematical and verbal discourse in the first place), often neglecting other areas, such as artistic or emotional intelligence ..

The incentives that some parents and teachers use compound the problems. If your parents reward high estimates with the new bike and punish bad grades without a TV, the message they send is that you are as good as what you are doing … and only what you are seeking, according to the narrow format of the evaluation …

The purpose of such systems is, of course, not to say that students with higher rank are “better” than their lower ranks. But it is easy to feel when ratings are celebrated in the form of thanks, such as valorictorian/salattorian, honorary roll and as …

By the time you get into college, it’s easy for you to take that kind of thinking. In college, the valuation is generally a little less, but honorary societies and the GPA still exist. Your claims for the impact of your assessments on your future are also continuing with warnings of what.

In general, with how the school system is structured, it is easy to understand why we end up feeling that we are as good as what we achieve …

The Internet: The Accomplishments ‘ Machine.

If the school is the first source of achievement, the Internet is a place that reinforces it.

Because everything is assessed, the impulse is to filter and collapse everything you put in the network to create an image of yourself as a person who goes into cool places, does great things and eats a beautiful meal. Taken together, this is called.

In fact, there is nothing wrong with being able to like or vote for things. It’s a light cow for an expression of empathy or an expression of joy that brings us something. The problem is when we.

And if you create things and put them on the Internet, it could be.

Even worse, you’re fixated on one trolling, and you ignore dozens of positive comments. You’re flawing a thousand likes, and you’re fixating on one dislike …

The Internet provides.

From a biological point of view, “success” is limited to one:

In prehistoric times (as we know), these were the same needs as people. Satisfies everything, and you were at any reasonable standard by having a “successful” life …

For many people in the modern world, however,

Specific achievements vary from person to person, but they tend to be

In contrast, it is much more difficult to point to things such as personal growth, improved relations with friends and family, or increased satisfaction with life. They are untied and difficult to quantify …

No wonder we are so wrapped up in external achievements because we can easily check the list and graph on the graph …

“You could always earn more money, win more awards, publish more books or get a higher score on the exam.”

I’m not against quantile defining or tracking numbers. In areas where progress needs to be clearly assessed, they are invaluable. For any purpose related to the skills or growth of a business, for example, I am always.

However, outside these areas, numbers are a recipe for dissatisfaction. You could always earn more money, win more awards, publish more books, or get a higher score on the exam. If that’s how you measure the cost of your life, then.

Moreover, the pursuit of external successes becomes particularly stupid when you take.

This may be due in part to an increase in the deficit of written records when you return, but even accounting, counting how many people in a hundred years ago today are home names ..

Now return the two hundred, three hundred, five hundred, one thousand, two thousand, five.

Up to this point, this article was kind of a double, pointing to all the problems with how we assess our lives. The knowledge that we will be forgotten is also not very convenient, I know …

Fortunately, there are other, healthier ways to measure our lives. It may be more difficult to quantify, but if you look at these things, you will not just feel more satisfied; you will also have a clear idea of where to focus your efforts on self-perfecting ..

Here are some useful ways to evaluate your life:

To make it easier to note the above aspects of your life, I recommend.

As in any article I am writing about the challenges we face, I must be careful not to give the wrong impression. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be ambitious or moveable, that it’s not worth trying to do amazing things that you don’t want to be.It’s hard. But this is important in order to be satisfied and reduce unnecessary stress. I hope that the reading of this post has made you realize the importance of dividing “who you are” from “what you are trying to do”, as well as pointing to some alternative ways of evaluating your life …

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